Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Ute Ute Utah


After some thought and much consideration, we have decided to move to Utah. This move is bittersweet. As I have mentioned before, my husband's Mom has cancer. We thought that it was going to be okay, but we got some sad news on Monday. The cancer has spread, and not only that but it is in Stage 4. If you do not know, that stage can be terminal. We haven't talked about that yet. But we have talked about the fact that we need to move there and soon.
Our lease is up June 30th. The original plan was that we were going to move into my Mom's house until we save up enough money to put a down payment on a house (no more than 6 months). Since we technically don't have anything keeping us here, it will be a somewhat easy move. We are going to get a storage unit here for our couch, table, etc. We will live with Jason's parents because they have (some) room and the point (one of the points) is to save money. Jason's uncle is the president of Geneva Rock, a construction company located in Utah County and he can start Jason there, however, he wants him to start in May. May. May. May. Okay, now is not the time for me to be selfish. I love Jason's family, but moreso I Love Jason's Mom. I understand what this move is about and I wouldn't have it any other way. However, it is hard for me to up and go. I am not that spontaneous. I am leaving my family. My mom and my sister, and my nephews. I will no longer be able to care for them as I love to do. My mom and my sister are fragile, so I am scared that this could uproot bad habits. I am scared to move to a place that I know. That I have been before. That I have memorized. Why am I scared? Thats an entirely different subject. But I have to do this. For my husband, my one and only.
And so, we will move in May. I have to be there May 31st anyway for a wedding, so we have decided that we will go to the wedding and we will not come back. We will continue to pay our rent throughout the next couple of months although no one will even live here. It is easiest and least expensive that way. I am going to say goodbye to Arizona.
We would like to only be in Utah til November, when Jason is assured to be laid off. I would like to say that it will happen that way, but what if the sickness decides otherwise? THAT is something that we cannot talk about. I start to cry immediatly upon thinking of the consequences, what could happen, and I do not like crying. I know my husband will be upset. But for now he is taking his usual approach: treat it as if it is nothing until it is definitely something, probably by a doctor talking only to him and telling him the awfulness. That is the only way he will know. HOPEfully, that will never happen. I have my fingers crossed, and I have my prayers ready. Anyone reading this, if you believe in prayer, please, please pray.
SO on an upbeat note, I happen to have an abundance of family in Utah AND friends believe it or not. So I would like to take this opportunity to reconnect with family and friends. I will take my child to meet my best friend, to meet my other grandparents and to be a comfort to his wonderful grandma.
Sigh. It WILL be good.

1 comment:

Eric and Jamilyn Wray said...

Yay!! You are going to be moving closer to me!!
I mean, the reasons you are moving here are terrible..but...we can play!!!