I only made two-ish resolutions this year. I normally don't do resolutions, but this year I decided to and only because I intend on keeping them. I, obviously, would like to say something like "only drink water, no carbonation, lose weight" etc but that's just not feasible for me. I like carbonation, therefore I will keep it in my life. What I did do is just picked one real rule and the other is something that always is with me, but I'm not going to make a big deal of it.
So, I have this thing with even numbers. I like even numbers. I like the volume on the TV or radio, to be an even number. I don't take 3 things at a time, I take 2. Everything in my house-my decorations, etc-is symmetrical. I DON'T like odd numbers. They feel wrong to me. They make me feel like I am doing something horrible. Weird? Yes. But now is the time for me to throw that out. It's an odd year. I'm not fond of the number 11. Why? Two odds in a row. But 11 never did anything to me, so I need to be easier on it. I am trying odd numbers now. Last night I took leftovers home from my mom's house. I took 5 baked potatoes and 7 rolls. I put broccoli in the same bag as the corn. Nobody died. We are all fine. That is my rule. I am starting slowly, but I am going to be able to kick this anxiety without quadrupling the amount of medicine I take. My sister told me last night, if you take your antidepressants x 4, you could stop with OCD stuff. But I think I just need to do it. I can't live my life with all this superstition. My husband is helping me. Instead of making fun of me, he congratulated me in a very genuine way last night.
My next thing is that I am going to organize my home more efficiently and (try) to complete my to do list for every room. There is a lot of things you don't think about. For example, I'd really love to get the towel/linen closet organized and some things thrown out. I really don't need more than 2 sheet sets for the guest room, especially ugly ones that were cheap and free when we were young. My closet looks like hell right now. I pulled out a shirt for Jason to wear, he said he'd never wear it again because it didn't fit him the same way as it did when he got it-back in high school! I said, then we're giving it away! He said nothing so I must do it. I have wasted space. There is SO much wasted space in the kitchen. Which reminds me, I should really clean the bottoms of my dishwasher and stove and fridge. I don't do it enough. I need to also wash my baseboards. This is the stuff I need to do this year. One day at a time.
And I guess thirdly, I am going to be a better blogger. I don't blog to gain a following or to make money, I blog to get things out of my head. I'm not gonna feel bad if I don't blog and post pictures of every single fun thing our family did this year, but I would really like to get my thoughts out.
That's it for now. Tonight Jason's brother, Nick, will be joining us for dinner. He is moving the bulk of his belongings into our garage until he permanently moves back to Utah-after the snow melts. His job is with a roofing company and they are going to focus on Phoenix for the time being. Oh, and also, if all goes well, Jason's little sister, Jessica and her 5 month old son, Jaxon, will be moving in a week from today. You guys have no clue how excited I am. I love Jason's family and Jessica and I are the same, yet different but I am so so so so excited to have a baby in my house. I plan on making baby food and trying a cloth diaper on him.
Ok ok, I must shower now. Adios.
3 comments:
Gasp. I thought I was the only one with an even number problem. I feel better now.
I've got the number thing too. The only odd number I like is 5. I was born on the 5th, I was the 5th child, etc etc.
Good luck!
I have to say that I was not suggesting that you should quadruple your medication or that ANYONE reading this should adjust their own medication in order to treat OCD symptoms. I just have to make that clear. I was just letting you know that anti depressants are only effective at treating OCD at a much higher dosage. I love you Regan and I am proud of you. PS. I also love 11.
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